Money Dates
Money Dates
How many of you plan regular dates with your spouse? It’s a great way to stay connected in the midst of our “busyness!”
At our house, we actually plan a monthly Money Date. This is a monthly scheduled event. We review major expenditures for the month, as well as where we can or should save more money. Money is something we all have to deal with, but if we don’t know where our money is going, we can feel very disconnected and stressed. A monthly money date can connect us again and strengthen our relationship with our spouse and our money. John Hankins, a certified therapist and licensed social worker, suggests four basic steps to creating a Positive Money Date Ritual.
Step 1 Be Intentional with Timing and Environment.
Start by finding 30-60 minutes to dedicate each month. Select a time of day that is the least stressful/busy. The end of the day or late at night when one or both of you are stressed can create a negative outcome. Add something special to this date to create a positive association – a special dessert, cup of tea, glass of wine, soft music.
Step 2 Do a Quick Mindfulness Check.
When it’s time for your date, how do you feel emotionally and physically? What are your thoughts/stresses about money right now? (Many tracker watches and rings will also give you indications of your stress level at this time).
Step 3 Choose an Area to Focus On.
You may want your discussion to focus on your credit cards, your checking account and what is on auto-debit each month, your savings account and what large expenditures you are saving for, or your investments. It is easy to become overwhelmed when you think you have to review all of them at one time. If monthly money dates is a new concept for you, Hankins recommends “Pick the one area that feels safest. A credit card is likely not that one.”
Step 4 Review, Reflect, and Reset.
After you choose an area to focus on, start reviewing. Review the past 3-6 months of bank statements or checkbook registers to spot any spending patterns or areas where your family needs to cut back.
The most important part of this date is to review your finances without judgment. It’s in the past now. You are having a money date so you can share in making better decisions for the future.
Also, keep in mind that it’s never too late to start this routine. As you build your confidence, you will be more anxious to plan future regular money dates! Monthly money dates are intended to help you connect and reach your goals. Make a plan and work that plan! You will soon be anxious to share the steps you have each taken to create greater successes!
“If you measure something, you can understand it. If you understand it, you can control it, and if you can control it, you can improve it.” The same holds true in your monthly budgeting.
The reality is that it is nearly impossible to complete & follow a monthly budget without improving your overall financial position. There are several reasons for this, so I would challenge you to do this.
First, just developing a budget for yourself will raise your awareness of what you have for revenue or income sources and then also boost your cognizance of how much you are spending each month. Next, you will come to grips with the reality of one of three facts. Either you need to boost your income sources, reduce your outgoing expenditures or, thank goodness, if you have more income than expenses, you can then save some money. Of course, this is fantastic! You just need to determine where you will store or invest those extra funds each month…